There are times when all you want to do is just curl up in bed and just evaporate from the face of the earth.
A year ago that´s what i did… I thought I died… I just wanted to vanish from the earths surface and not come back. EVER!
I hid from the public, not wanted to do anything of those things that have made me really happy my entire life. I didn´t want to create. I hid all my art stuff.. sold most of it or just tucked it in to a box in the closet. I was not in the mood to be an artist anymore. My love for creating sort of died. I focused on being a present mother and teacher… but no, not an artist.
But the other day something happened….
I have the most fantastic friends… I love them to pieces… They never let me back down or hide. They dare to speak the truth,even when it hurts like hell… and one of my friends said:
– Why are you doing this? Why are you killing yourself, giving up what you love the most? you are not YOU without the paint and camera…
I didn´t have a good enough answer, and that bugged me.
I went home…. thought about it… I really thought about it…
And it nagged me, it bothered me to hell that she put the nail spot on…
I didn´t want to.. didn´t want to be an artist anymore…. or was she right??
When I sat there alone in my apartment… It started to itch…you know,, that creative itch.. I didn´t get it out of my system.
And I started a treasure hunt… finding my paints, papers, trimmer, and I even printed photos (No my camera is still in the bag, but I have a few in my phone)
And you know what?!
I sat there… singing out loud… and I bet my neighbor wondered what was wrong with me at 2 am in the morning… But I had so much fun. And my friend… She was right,,, as usual. This is what I love!
I looked back at the past year… and I wouldn´t change anything… not a bit. I have the most fantastic friends… and I have a life that I actually like, no I love my life. So.. I hope that this creative itch is staying a while now.